Unacceptable Proposals From Your Spouse

Categories: Separation Agreements

No way will I go along with that idea! Why are we even talking about it?

A challenge most people face when attempting to mediate a divorce settlement is having to listen to proposals from their spouse that are unacceptable. It's hard to sit there and listen when all you want to do is jump in and say, "No way. I'm not willing to do that!"

And the mediator is listening to your spouse in a way that makes it seem that the mediator thinks your spouse's idea is a good one; he's even asking questions to get a better understanding of the proposal. It's hard to remember at times like these that no decision will be made in mediation unless it is acceptable to you. Why is that? Because you and your spouse are the decision makers. No one else. Not you alone. Not your spouse alone. Not a judge. And not the mediator. In mediation, you and your spouse control the outcome.

V.A. Circular 26-23-10 Spousal Release from Mortgage

Categories: Divorce Mediation

In this time of high mortgage rates it has often become too expensive for divorcing couples to do what they would like to do with their jointly owned and financed home - complete a buyout of one by the other where the “buyer“ refinances the mortgage in his or her sole name and the “seller” receives cash or other mutually agreed assets. The resulting mortgage payment at the higher rate can be simply unaffordable and even if financially possible, seems like a waste of financial resources at a time when those resources are being stretched.

Creating Successful Parenting Plans

Categories: Divorce Mediation

Mediation provides the opportunity for a couple faced with parenting issues to plan new parenting roles and responsibilities that will meet the needs of their children after their separation.

Dealing with Financial Issues in Mediation

Categories: Divorce Mediation

After years of marriage it is not uncommon for separating couples to have a broad and diverse financial picture and for one spouse to have a better understanding of that financial picture. In mediation, the entire financial picture is placed on the table. As in the rest of the mediation, both spouses are present for the financial information sharing process where source financial documents are reviewed together with me. Often the financial information sharing process also becomes an educational process where the assets and liabilities are described and explained to each other. I  help guide the information and explanation process – this can be a challenging time for both the spouse who is familiar with the finances as well as the one who isn’t. Spouses are then in a position to create, review, and consider options that make the most sense for their future and that put their available resources to best use.

How Mediation Creates Fair Agreements

Categories: Divorce Mediation

How can mediation solve a problem where one spouse sees it one way and the other sees in entirely differently? If there’s no agreement, you might think that mediation won’t work. On the contrary, mediation works especially well when agreement seems impossible.